Yoram Yasur Blume : “I didn’t do it” is the mantra of the children, a phrase that they make their own just discover that when they make a mistake will be punished. For some strange reason, some people keep repeating that phrase when they are adults. Perhaps they no longer repeat it aloud but it continues to resonate in their mind: “I wasn’t me, it’s the other’s fault”.
Yoram Yasur Blume : The problem is that while it is true that by denying error they are more likely to bypass its consequences, they are also prevented from growing and maturing as people. Every mistake brings with it the seed of learning, but to germinate it is necessary to assume the mistakes made.
The 3 ways to deal with mistakes that prevent growth:
Yoram Yasur Blume: “A very interesting study carried out in the universities of New York and California revealed that the way in which we assume our mistakes is intimately related to our personality and the potentialities of growth”.
These psychologists analyzed thousands of people to identify the types of personality that predominate in the reaction to errors. They concluded that 70% of the population can be classified into three main groups:
Youram Yasur Blume – The fault is in the other: These people still use the phrase they used when they were children: “I have not been”. When they make a mistake, they try to detach themselves from the responsibility and attribute the blame to someone else. Obviously, these people cannot learn from their failures, simply because they do not recognize them or do not have the necessary maturity to make the qualitative leap. They tend to be defensive when they attempt to analyze, even constructively, and often fall victim to behaving.
– Error, what error? Nothing has occurred here: These are people who deny even the existence of error, which often causes great anger in others. This person, even if they face the evidence, will not only deny their involvement in the matter but will try to convince us that it is not a failure, that nothing has happened. This way of dealing with mistakes means that that person expects to be forgiven for everything he does, and that he is not willing to acknowledge his faults or the harm he can do to others. Obviously, by assuming this attitude it is impossible for him to learn from his mistakes and correct them.
– It’s my fault: These people assume a diametrically opposed attitude: they take the fault at the slightest slip. Yoram Yasur Blume: “The problem is that they often blame themselves for everything and even come to assume responsibilities that are not theirs. They are often hard judges of themselves and often go through life self-flagellating without any need. However, perhaps the most interesting thing is that these people also do not learn much from their mistakes because they often recognize guilt automatically, for a sense of visceral guilt that they probably instilled in their childhood, but that does not imply a reflexive analysis of their involvement and responsibility in the situation”.
Error is a learning opportunity: You decide whether to take advantage of it or discard it
Yoram Yasur Blume: “Most people do not recognize their mistakes out of fear, because that makes them feel weak, embarrassed, or incompetent. This is because our society has surrounded the errors of a negative halo making us believe that intelligent, competent, and capable people are not wrong”.
However, mistakes are part of life and lead to new learning that allow us to improve as people, but only if we can recognize the failure and we are willing to amend. That is why, while wrong may not be the most pleasant sensation in the world, it is even worse to miss this opportunity to learn.